Update

It's hard to believe that the fire was a month a go today. In some ways it seems like it has been a very long month... and then in other ways I wonder where the time has gone. I have been in a haze. We weren't allowed into the house until the insurance companies had done all of their investigations. I stayed in Idaho Falls for that week before I came home. I had seen pictures. But, it was much worse in person. I wasn't quite prepared for it. I had a lot of emotions when I first walked through it... mostly just gratitude that James was ok & that the boys hadn't been home. And a very humble heart that for some reason I had had a feeling to not take that lantern camping with me & the boys. It could have been so much worse.

I will admit that even though I was so grateful that everyone was ok there were still emotional times. There still are. I know that everything that we lost were just "things". I was ok with the furniture, electronics, decorations, clothes, etc... I did struggle as I saw burned baby blankets - the blankets I had so lovingly made my boys & wrapped them up in to bring them home from the hospital. As I watched all the things I had made my boys being tossed into a dumpster I did cry. My wedding pictures are gone. My scrapbooks are ruined. These are the things that I struggle with.

There were some tender mercies along the way. My Grandma Wall has always written amazing letters. I think that I have kept just about everyone she has ever sent me. I found a wet soggy box that contained all of those letters. It also had all of the letters that Travis had written me while he was on his mission & all of the letters that my Mom & Dad had sent me while I was at college. I spent a whole night gently unfolding each & everyone of them and setting them out to dry. They look and smell a little rough! But, I still have them. When my Dad retired I wanted his lunch box. I remember watching him take it to work everyday for as long as I could remember. I found it in the rubble. It is a little burned & rusted from the water - but, I have it.

I have had the strength of family and friends holding me up. My friend Ilona came from St. George and spent the first 4 days with me. She was just what I needed. She took charge for me & got the things done that I wanted. She worked through the mess, happily slept in the trailer & was fine eating breakfast at the gas station!

We had so many people offering to help that it was overwhelming. Thank you to Adam & Amber who spent a whole day cleaning out the garage, to the Fauver's that fed us so many delicious meals, to Amber & Toni who spent hours helping me inventory everything that was left in the house. Thank you to all the people in our ward who had us over for dinner and to everyone who has helped with my boys. Thank you to Megan... I am beginning to think that it is amazing how much a like cousins can be! You get me. And when I felt like I couldn't breath you always knew just what to say to make it better. Thank you.

We have tried to have a little fun a long the way... We may or may not have put our burned furniture on our neighbors roof! It looked pretty good with my big topiary tree and lamp! And we may or may not have stayed out until the middle of the night penny tapping our neighbors! By the time we were done we had 4 couples running the neighborhood with us! They do say that laughter is the best medicine!

When we were done cleaning out the house we weren't quite sure what we should do. Becky had had the boys for us. We didn't know if we should buy a house, rent a house, or stay in the temporary housing that the insurance provided. We looked at a couple houses to buy. We looked at a couple houses to rent. Nothing felt right & I was extremely overwhelmed. I did know that McKay needed to be with his friends. That he needed to go back to his school & his scout group. That Carter needed to be in his primary class. That they needed their life back. It was too much to take it all away from them. So, instead of making a big decision while we were so overwhelmed we decided to do the house that the insurance would provide. They found one for us 2 streets away from our house that we can stay in while they fix our house. It provides the boys the things they know.

In the meantime we have been staying with Jason and Kristin (James' brother & his wife). When we first walked through their doors Kristin gave me a big hug & told me "My house is yours". She truly has made it so. She has helped so much with the boys as I have had to meet with adjusters and as I spent days working on the claim. The boys have LOVED being with their cousins. I have truly enjoyed the time that we have spent here with them. I cherish the relationship that we have so much. It truly touches my heart to see the love that my boys have for you. You have truly made this trial so much lighter. Thank you.

There have been so many friends and family that I know would have come in a second if I would have asked. You have called and left message after message to check on us & to send your love. Every message, every text message, every card has meant so much. Thank you.

So, we continue to take it one day at a time. It is all we can do. The first week was hard. But, it continues to get better each day. Tomorrow our "temporary" house will be ready for us. The insurance company provides all the furniture, electronics, sheets, towels, dishes, washer and dryer.... until I can get what I want purchased. I continue to pray each day that I can handle this trial with grace.

And did I mention that I found my first grey hair!!!! Seriously! As if my house catching on fire wasn't enough!

Here Is The Story...

In life good and bad things happen. They both become apart of your story. And only you can choose how you handle them and what you make of them. Everyday I pray that I can handle this trial with grace.

When we moved to Sandy from Logan last fall we had put all of our camping gear in the trailer. It made it easy to move it all together and to store it through the winter. When it became apparent that James was not going to be able to leave with us to go to Redfish Lake I started gutting the trailer. I decided that I didn't want to take a lot of things because I wanted to keep it simple for me. 

Last Friday James was in the garage and noticed that I had left the lantern. Since he was leaving that day to meet us he decided that he would bring it so we could use it for the weekend. He started it in the garage and let it burn for a few minutes. We have used it dozens of times and have never had any problems with it. He stepped into the house for a few minutes to switch some laundry out when he heard a loud crash. He ran to the garage and opened the door to black smoke. He tried to run in & couldn't even get in a couple feet. The lantern had somehow exploded. He ran out the front door & around to the back yard. There is a window above the bench in the garage & he thought he could break it & spray the hose in to stop the fire. As he ran past the window it exploded. He realized that the fire was much more than he could handle & ran to our neighbors to have them call 911. As they were making that call for him James ran back into the house... He grabbed our family video's, my computer that holds all of our pictures, a blanket that his great grandma made him & a emergency stash of cash we had in the closet. He quickly tried to find the blankets that my grandmother's had made for me - but, couldn't find them & needed to get out of the house.

Friday morning I had an anxious feeling. I always get a little nervous when my family travels & I had a lot of loved ones that were going to be traveling that day for McKay's baptism. I had tried to call James a couple of times & it would just go straight to his voicemail. Then sometime in the late morning I received a text from a friend in my neighborhood telling me how sorry she was & to let her know if there was anything she could help me with.... I really started to get anxious. I tried to call her... But, she didn't answer. So, I called Brett (James's youngest brother). I asked if he had talked to or seen James that day. He said that he hadn't - but, that he was supposed to be there in 5 minutes to leave with them for Redfish. I could hear Wayne (James's dad) in the background & asked Brett to ask him if he had talked to James. Wayne said that he had at about 7:00 that morning. I told Brett about the text I received & told him to call me when James got there. I immediately hung up & called James's office. His secretary answered & I asked her what time James had left the office... She told me that he had never came in & told me that Wayne was calling in on the other line... I'm sure he was! We were all worried now.

I walked out of my trailer & told Megan and Greg what was going on. I was so anxious I was sick to my stomach. James still was not answering his phone... all calls were going directly to voicemail. It took about 30-45 minutes before my phone rang again. It was my friend from our ward calling... I was afraid to answer the phone. But, I made myself & was so relieved when it was James. I walked out by the cars as he told me about the fire... I think I asked him almost a hundred times if he was ok! Travis came up and sat in his car & listened as I talked to James. He was getting bits & pieces of the story. After I got off of the phone with James I went & sat with Travis & just cried. I remember Greg coming up at some point. I had just lived 45 minutes of hell & was in complete shock. Travis let me cry & then he talked me through it in only a way that he could. The things that he said are to special & personal to share. Shortly after Carson arrived with the kid's... they were coming to spend the weekend with us for McKay's baptism. The Lord truly put the people that I would need most there with me at that time.

Our Bishop was at the house with James & told him that he had more important things to do. They would take care of everything for him... But, that he needed to get to his family. It seemed like forever until he arrived. He gave me a huge hug & told me how sorry he was that he couldn't find my grandma's blankets! I laughed & told him that I had put them in the trailer! I remember when I was putting them in there I was wondering why I was taking them camping!

We are truly blessed. Blessed that the lantern did not explode while James was standing there. Blessed that he was not burned. I have sat and thought so many times what would have happened if I would have taken it with me. If I would have used it in the trailer & it would have exploded in there with the kids... It makes me shudder.

I have come to Idaho Falls to stay with the kids for a few days. James went back to Sandy to get everything figured out. Being married to a insurance man does have it's benefits! We did have renters insurance and everything is covered.

We had just in the couple weeks before moved all of our stuff that was in storage in Logan to our garage. We were in the process of sorting through it all. The garage is completely burned. I had hopes for much of the things inside the house. But, it appears that a majority of it has been damaged due to smoke damage. Right now they are telling us that pretty much the only things they can salvage are our hard wood furniture items & our glass dishes. All couches, TV's, bedding, mattresses, toys, books, washer & dryer, pictures, food...etc. is damaged. My car was in the garage and as you can see it is gone. All skiing equipment, tools, camping stuff, baseball stuff, baby stuff, holiday decorations, lawn mower, snow blower, golf clubs, cedar chest, freezers, kids clothes... it's all gone. Burned. My list goes on and on.

I do have my family video's, I have my hard drive with all of my family pictures, I have my quilts from my grandmother's & most importantly I have my husband.  I lost a lot of important things... But, nothing is more important than he is.

I am taking it one day at a time. It's all I can really do. The out pouring of love, support & help has truly touched us more than we can ever express. Thank you!